Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Battle with the Keyboard

I have an ongoing battle...

My mind never seems to want to take a rest. Ever.  I am always thinking about something.  It drives Jon crazy.  He says it's why I'm always tired.  We could be sitting in complete silence and out of nowhere I ask him the most random thing (that I've been pondering for as little as 30 minutes, but as long as a whole day or more.)  If our fundraising will allow us to meet the needs that we feel led to meet here.  If the laundry in the washer can go another day without getting dried. If he answered those emails that somehow got pushed to page two of the inbox. If the bunch of bananas we bought will go bad if they get rained on.  It sounds ridiculous, but this is the stuff that goes around in my head.  He will get the most surprised look on his face--baffled that in our silence all of that was raging inside my head.

As if battling these little details wasn't enough, I always think of things that I need to sit down and log.  Things that I need to journal or record here, on the blog.  I love to do little one-sentence snippets on Facebook, and I especially love to throw a picture or two up...but I always feel like I need to do more.  And it is SO hard.  As I wash dishes, or shower, or take care of the baby, I am always forming paragraphs, thinking of topics and planning my next blog.  Then I sit down at the comptuer, fingers poised, and there are no words to type.

I don't know where they go.  In the shower this morning, I talked to myself for a good 30 minutes...touching on this topic and that, forming sentences and ideas.  Then I dried off, got dressed and sat down to write.  And the words were all gone.  Who knows?  Maybe they fell out when I leaned over to towel-dry my hair?

Perhaps just having handled them in my head allowed my mind to let them free? I need them back!  There was some good stuff in there!

Anyways...blogging hasn't turned out to be my strength for sure.  It sounds like such a great idea, but then when it comes to actually doing it...

I will try to do better...

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